Chapter 76 Dealing With That Group of Things

What Short Feng told me was regarded as an opportunity for their company to intervene in the reorganization of Qiu Dekao’s company. It all happened at a smuggling dock in Germany. At that time, their company had a batch of underground goods entering the gate through this channel, and he had gone to the scene as a liquidator to conduct inventory.

The goods were packed in twenty-four boxes, and when he opened them, he found that they contained twenty-four sarcophagi.

Qiu Dekao’s company was the seller, and the goods were traded as collateral. To put it bluntly, Qiu Dekao’s company borrowed four scientific research units from this German company. In the end, some accidents occurred and there was no way to pay the expenses so these ancient sarcophagi were used as collateral.

The incident should have taken place on the eve of Qiu Dekao’s company’s bankruptcy when the company was insolvent.

When Short Feng and some others opened the sarcophagi, they were very pleased to see that the gaps showed no traces of being opened before. As to whether the contents would be able to repay the debt or not, it was just like gambling. It all depended on luck.

This batch of sarcophagi was chosen by the experts of their company back in China so there shouldn’t have been any fundamental problems when they were brought out of the soil. So, they sent for someone to open the coffins. The first few were fine so everyone had been slacking off until they got to the sixteenth coffin. As a result, the coffin was already half-opened when they found that it was covered with a layer of bronze and there was nothing inside of it.

They thought that it was an empty coffin, but when they went to climb in and search carefully, the contents suddenly came out.

The situation was exactly the same as what we had experienced earlier—the contents couldn’t be seen against the bronze casing but suddenly appeared in the air.

There was no need to mention the consequences here. Short Feng said that this must have been a deliberate setup by Qiu Dekao since they had never encountered anything like this before.

They later began to study the bronze covering the sarcophagus and deduced a lot from the patterns on it before preparing to purchase Qiu Dekao’s remaining assets.

The reasons for this must have been very complicated but I wasn’t interested in listening at that time. I was still able to infer some of them from Short Feng’s words, however.

“So, you came here with information this time and knew that you might encounter something like this?” I asked him.

“Not exactly. We completed the data and revised many of our previous speculations along the way. Of course, I knew what we might encounter when I saw the picture of King Yama riding the dead.”

Fatty buckled all the grenade pins to the strap and then tried to see if he could tie it around his waist so that he could grab them more easily. After he was done, he asked Short Feng, “By the way, if that’s what happened, did you finally kill that thing?”

Short Feng nodded, “As long as it leaves the bronze area, it can be hurt.”

Fatty looked at the grenades and said, “It may be hurt but not necessarily killed. Let’s not kill this thing right away. We should see if we can lead it out first.”

“With what?” I asked him. “Do we go in front of the door and call it out? Moreover, this thing was about to come out just now but shrunk back in. Does it know that it can’t come out of the cave?”

“Do you still remember what they said about Little Brother before?” Fatty asked. “In the lama temple, he met a woman whose hands and feet were cut off. They said that they would use her as a sacrifice. Although I don’t know why the Kangbaluo tribe did this, they obviously used her as bait.”

When Fatty finished speaking and looked at Zhang Haixing, I hurriedly said, “It’s not right. It’s a human life after all.”

“There’s always a way to have the best of both worlds,” he said while gesturing. “We don’t have time to keep chattering here. I’ll deal with that thing the same way I dealt with Zhang Haixing. You all come and help.”

According to Little Brother’s experience at that time, the lamas would have the woman inhale the incense mixed with human bones and then break her hands and feet. We obviously couldn’t do such a thing to Zhang Haixing but it wasn’t like we could fool His Highness “King Yama of Hell”.

Fatty tied Zhang Haixing’s joints tightly with her clothes, pressed her forearms onto her upper arms, and then tied them so that she couldn’t straighten her arms out. Once that was done, he tied her legs and placed the dried, burnt black mud all around her. After that, we dug traps in the area surrounding her.

Sure enough, this was a tried and true method. Fatty tied a makeshift rope made from all the clothes on our bodies around Zhang Haixing’s waist and then we used small stones to smooth the route behind her. If there was an emergency, we would be able to drag her some distance.

Fatty also made many small traps next to the main trap. He placed a grenade under the largest stone around the trap and then piled countless stones on top, tied the pull ring to a big stone, and gently placed it in the center of the trap.

Fortunately, there was a lot of black mud around so when we finished our work, there was enough of it left for lighting.

At this time, it had been at least ten hours since we had escaped from the cave entrance and we were all exhausted. Fatty patted me after a short rest and said, “Come and fight with me.”

I thought for a moment and then grabbed him, “Wait a minute, we have one more thing to do.”

“What is it?” Fatty asked.

“When the lamas made that woman inhale the smoke, they must’ve had a reason to use a charcoal stove containing corpse bones,” I said. “The corpse smell is very important. Doesn’t the picture show King Yama riding a corpse? This old woman is wearing GUCCI perfume so would that even draw the thing out? And how do you call it out? Would it even understand?”

“Corpse smell? Shit, the area up top was full of human bones. If you had said this earlier, I would’ve taken a few pieces. We’re all alive here so what are we going to do?”

“Think about it carefully. Little Brother was talking about the smell of dried corpses. What are the main components of a dried corpse? Fat, skin, hair, and bones.” I looked at Fatty and said, “Think.”

“Teeth, hair, and skin are all available,” Short Feng said from behind us. “If you’re fat, your feces contain oil. The fatter you are, the more abundant it is.”

Fatty touched his stomach, “But I’ve been hungry for a long time and don’t have to go.”

“Trust your stomach,” I said to Fatty. “The amount of shit that a person can pull out is infinite.”

Fatty sighed and said, “Don’t expect me to do this alone. What, you think thin people don’t have spleens and stomachs? You go there, you go there, and I’ll go over there. The goods will be delivered in half an hour. It’ll depend on who contributes the most; it might not necessarily be me.”

I won’t go into detail regarding the process, but I did wonder if I could brag in front of Little Brother or Xiao Hua if I saw them later: I once dropped a load in front of the bronze door.

We each appeared holding a stone, then looked at each other dumbly and piled them beside Zhang Haixing.

I didn’t know whether it was time or the smell that woke Zhang Haixing up, but she turned her head and saw quite the sight. She didn’t speak but I also knew that she must have collapsed after seeing those lumps.

“Well, we’ll wait a while for them to dry. Now, let’s do the hair and skin.”

We cut off each other’s hair and then started cutting our nails.

I usually didn’t trim my nails all the way down so the nail clippings were very easy. I felt as if I were a medieval witch preparing herbs in front of the cauldron.

Finally, there was only bone left. Fatty sighed and I said, “Relax, I’m very fair. We’ll do one tooth per person.”

Fatty moved his chin, reached into his mouth, and then dropped a tooth into his poop. “No sweat,” he said to me. “This one was about to fall out after this woman kicked me to the ground.”

Short Feng also moved his chin and, without using his hands, swiped a loose tooth with his tongue and threw it in while saying to me, “Same.”

Damn, these two idiots are amazing, I thought to myself while also swiping my teeth with my tongue. I found that they were all as hard as iron, which made me think that Zhang Haixing was really good to me.

I picked up a stone and couldn’t help second-guessing myself as I almost smashed my chin with the inertia.

The sharp, unexpected pain caused me to immediately throw the stone away and cover my chin. My whole jaw was numb, and when I slowly recovered and felt my teeth, I found that they still wouldn’t move.

Short Feng and Fatty were looking at me without saying a word. “Two should be enough,” I said. “I contributed the most hair just now.”

“That’s not how we do business,” Fatty said and picked out a bigger stone for me.

I picked it up and weighed it while thinking to myself, if this thing hits me, my whole jaw will come off. My mind was spinning as I tried to figure out another way but then Short Feng said to me, “Forget it,” and spat out another one. “It dropped on its own, even if it was for you.”

I was so relieved that I immediately went up and thanked him with a handshake. I wonder how badly Zhang Haixing beat him.

As soon as we had everything, we began to put them in the burning flames and a strange smell soon spread through the air. While we were fanning hard to send the odor towards the bronze door, Zhang Haixing asked, “What the hell are you doing?”

“You’ll know later,” Fatty said. We were staring at the hole in the bronze door while chanting in our hearts: Come on, come on. But after fanning for more than ten minutes, Fatty shook his head and said, “It’s no use. Once again, your method is stupid.”

His hair was very messy and he looked very ugly. I was also feeling very upset and was just about to say something scathing to him when I saw a few drops of water falling on his head.

He also felt it and we immediately looked up. There were countless drops of water falling down from the darkness above us as if it were raining.

<Chapter 75><Table of Contents><Chapter 77>

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Wu Xie trying to get out of losing a tooth had me cracking up. Anybody else think they should’ve just taken 3 from that bitch Zhang Haixing? Being surrounded by piles of poop isn’t enough punishment hahahaha

Updated 1/29/2022