Chapter 141

Back in the room, I sat at the window and looked at the mountains outside as the fog in my heart started to fade. The fog outside still lingered on the mountains, but I felt as if I could see every tree out there. A long-lost headache, combined with the unpredictable future that followed me like a shadow in those days, seemed to descend upon me again like falling dominoes.

At that time, I was a person who could see the end at a glance. Despite the severe headaches, everything was like a myriad of countless possibilities that I could analyze at the same time. But the pressure of determining all of these possibilities at once was exhausting. After arriving in Rain Village, the future I saw was singular and fixed. I thought it was because I had finally reduced my life to a simple and easy straight line, but at that moment, I realized that I had just lost the ability. The future was still infinitely complex and irregular, but I couldn’t see it anymore.

Most people didn’t need to see so many possibilities and would probably be happier if they didn’t. But when you could see how the future branched out, you often saw all possibilities, which made it difficult to decide what you did and didn’t want to see.

Why did Black Glasses leave me that sentence? Those words were full of despair, which meant that whatever they discovered prompted Black Glasses to say goodbye.

It almost sounded like they could achieve their goal, but they couldn’t come back.

They weren’t afraid of death. In fact, I was almost positive that they would seek it to a certain extent. People who were ill or had lived a long life always tended to gravitate towards danger. As I recalled Uncle Two’s attitude, the pain in my heart made me feel as if I had been cut with a knife. Did Uncle Two sacrifice them to save me?

If Black Glasses knew that there was a high chance of not coming back, then Uncle Two must have known about it. And he had known for a long time. If their sacrifice was useless, then Uncle Two wouldn’t have agreed to it. So, Uncle Two must have been certain that his goal would be achieved if he sacrificed them. He was trying to save me.

Between the three of them—no, it would be four if I included Uncle Three—did they reach some kind of cruel, tacit understanding while deciding to exclude me?

What was so important about me? I was just one of the many people in Poker-Face’s life who would say goodbye one day. I was a man who delayed Fatty’s wealth and marriage. I made Xiao Hua lose everything, alienated Xiuxiu from her family, and made my parents live in fear that I would follow Uncle Three’s path. I wasn’t worthy of the name my grandfather had given me. But in the first half of my confused life, I had seen countless wonders in the world. I had the most amazing and prolific partners in the world. We sang on cliffs, chanted on snow-capped mountains, drank wine in the desert, and watched the moon on the sea.

I had experienced enough in my life.

I worked so hard in the hopes that you all would live well. Why don’t you understand?

Fatty leaned over and looked at me. When I glanced at him, he said, “Mr. Naïve, why are you crying?”

I looked at Fatty. In the first half of my life, everyone had lied to me for my own good. I couldn’t believe that in the second half of my life, I still couldn’t trust my close relatives and friends.

I hugged Fatty and started bawling my eyes out, crying for my naivety. I knew that after crying, I could only believe in myself. I would become a calm, machine-like person once again.

Life was really hard.

How strong do I have to be before God will let me go?

Fatty was completely baffled, but my tears couldn’t be controlled. I decided to give myself five minutes and looked at my watch. Four minutes and fifty-nine seconds, four minutes and fifty-eight seconds, four minutes and fifty-seven seconds…three minutes…one minute…zero.

Restart.

I stood up and patted my face with a towel. Bai Haotian was completely shocked and didn’t know what to do, so I touched her head and then said to everyone, “I’ll announce the next phase of the plan. I’ll only say it once, so don’t miss a word.”

<Chapter 140><Table of Contents><Chapter 142> 

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I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not ok after that lol