Chapter 2.27 Fantasy (Extra)

Door? What door?

In recent years, I hated it whenever I heard this word. Whether it was a zipper door (1), a cucumber door (2), or whatever kind of door. I didn’t want to listen to it at all, and didn’t know what was wrong with this society. Everything had to be related to a door. When ordering food, if someone dared order marinated pig’s tongue (3), then I would drag them out and break their legs.

So, it was even more remarkable that Poker-Face would say this word. If I could speak, I would definitely ask him directly, “What door, the bronze door?”

And why was this bug in the door? How could such an extraordinary bug come out of the door? Couldn’t you practice good hygiene?

This seemingly dim-witted Snake Ancestor seemed to agree with me at this time, and asked in a low voice, “What door?” I silently cheered for him: Good question!

“It’s none of your business.” Pampered Guy quickly answered, and then said to Poker-Face, “Little Snake has a special trick in his hair. How about we let him send the snake to try?”

Poker-Face shook his head. “Find a lever cutter (4).”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’ll attach the lever cutter to my hand and catch it.”

Pampered Guy immediately stopped: “Patriarch, what age are we in? Doing such a thing is so outdated. Don’t be impulsive. Trust me, let me think of a safer way first.”

In the world, people’s impression of others was related to themselves and those around them. We all looked like fools around Poker-Face, but Pampered Guy was very good at acting. It was so good, in fact, that he made it feel like Poker-Face was living in a comedy. It may be that in this era, Poker-Face ignored a lot of rules, so Pampered Guy had to follow him around and present himself as a comedic character.

“The Americans brought back samples of these bugs from somewhere in the forest behind us. They were originally packed in earthen pots that the locals made. We saw some of these pots outside, which shows that the bugs were taken out of here. Maybe the Americans wanted to take them outside the village.” Pampered Guy said. “This beetle is different from the other bugs, considering it killed this female. Is it also a sample brought back from the forest?”

Snake Ancestor said, “Can you think about it faster? Otherwise, I’ll go up to the beam.”

Pampered Guy said, “Any beetles that the Americans can catch shouldn’t be that dangerous. But it’s also possible that it was a parasite in the female bug, which makes it dangerous. Let’s do an experiment. You watch here, and I’ll find something.”

In a short amount of time, Pampered Guy found a bamboo pole from somewhere and put a dead colorful insect on the end. The bug must have come from one of the traps Poker-Face had set up along the path, because several of its legs were broken. When he came back to the two of us, he said, “Let’s pretend that the bug is attacking it and see how the beetle reacts.”

“Will it really work? You stuck such a big pole in its back.” Snake Ancestor said.

“I don’t believe a bug could understand such a thing.” Pampered Guy glanced at Poker-Face, who nodded in apparent acquiescence.

I felt like this method of deceit insulted the dignity of the Zhang family, but it seemed that Poker-Face didn’t particularly care about it. He watched as Pampered Guy pushed the bug towards the green beetle while imitating the crawling sound the bugs had made.

Snake Ancestor glanced at Pampered Guy, but didn’t say anything. He apparently didn’t have the strength to talk anymore. They watched Pampered Guy push the bug right up to the green beetle, take a deep breath, and then jerk the bamboo pole so it looked like the bug was attacking the beetle. As long as his wrist shook even a little bit, the bug could be pressed up against the green beetle.

At this time, the beetle finally made a move.

It flew up, and without paying any attention to the fake bug or us, proceed to soar straight to the water and flew away in an instant.

We looked at each other. Although this was what bugs should do, we were still a little startled.

<Extra 2.26> <Table of Contents><Extra 2.28>

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TN Notes:

(1) Think it refers to a sex scandal. My search results kept coming up with the one between former US President Bill Clinton and White House intern Monica Lewinsky.

(2) In May 2009, a university girl used a cucumber to comfort herself in her dorm. It accidentally broke and stayed in her body and she couldn’t get it out. She was sent to the hospital for treatment, but they were helpless. The “Cucumber Gate” (the Chinese character for door can also mean gate) incident attracted a lot of attention from schools.

(3) It translates as “door cavity”

(4) It’s a lever-style guillotine (for chopping fodder etc). Looks like this:

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Anybody: “Door”
Wu Xie: “Triggered”

Tiffany’s new extra: Mahjong