The village wanted to post something on the blackboard bulletin, so the village secretary came to see me.
There were three blackboard bulletins at the entrance of the village that were very old. Originally, loess was smeared on the wall and then painted black, but now the loess had flaked off, which gave it a very mottled look. In fact, the black background had turned into a grayish-white color now.
There were only a few black spots left, which made me feel a little regretful. The black paint had lasted for more than twenty years on this open-air wall without any shelter. The quality of ink at that time must have been really good.
I really didn’t want to take this job, so I asked where the people who usually took care of the bulletins had gone. Although I didn’t usually look at these three bulletins, I often saw that they were filled with writing whenever I passed by.
The village head told me that the villagers took shifts, and the children of each family were in charge of them. But now it was my turn.
So, the three of us took some chalk and walked over to the three bulletins.
“Were you ever in charge of this kind of thing back in school?” Fatty asked.
I nodded. People like me who had been trained in the fine arts since childhood often fell into this trap when showing off their talents in class: after showing off, any work related to the bulletin fell on me.
Plus, I was famous for my writing skills—of course, the contents of what went on the bulletin weren’t within my control.
“Why don’t you draw a big-assed girl as a special service to the widowers in the village,” Fatty said.
I looked at him while thinking to myself, have you been to a university for the elderly recently?(1) You can even pronounce this word.
“There are so many children, we can’t be a bad influence,” I said to him. “Let’s write a story.”
“What kind of story?”
“A story about three ancient heroes: Wise Hero, Silent Hero, and Fat Hero. They’ll defeat the scum of the martial arts world and save it.”
Fatty thought it over for a while, “Why do you two sound so cool but I sound lame? Can’t I be Loyal Hero instead?”(2)
I looked at him and smiled, “You’re actually Wise Hero. I’m Fat Hero.”
Fatty narrowed his eyes and gave me a look before sighing, “A little contrast is also good. Who’s the villain?”
“Official Xie is a rich man who has a very good memory for bookkeeping. He and a thug who stays by his side bully and torture the innocent. This thug is a remnant of the Black Bear Gang and is called Black Bear.”
“It seems a little inappropriate,” Fatty said quietly. “Doesn’t the story actually start with the three heroes making a mistake first, ransacking someone else’s place, and then settling the account with Official Xie’s help?”
After thinking about it, I nodded. “Let’s change the setting so that it’s a story about three ancient thieves: Wise Thief, Silent Thief, and Fat Thief.”
Fatty nodded, “Yes, crime stories are also a good theme. But who’s the villain of this story?”
“Wise Thief, Silent Thief, and Fat Thief.”
“Wait, I asked the wrong question. Who’s decent?”
“Official Xie, who is kind and generous. He has Black Hero by his side. Black Hero is also called Black Bear or Blind Hero with a Green Onion.”
“So what’s the main task of these three villains?”
“The three thieves want to sneak into Official Xie’s mansion at night to rob it, so they tie up Official Xie to threaten Blind Hero. Once they finally succeed, they flee to a faraway place. But the authorities chase after them and surround them at Siguo Cliff.(3) The three people, refusing to submit, jump off the cliff and end up falling into three caves. Wise thief falls into a cave with a rare book that enables him to learn a unique form of martial arts and gain amazing powers. Silent Thief falls into an ice cave where he obtains ice qi and a footwork technique that allows him to disappear. Meanwhile, Fat Thief falls into a sugar cave where he gains twenty catties. This extra body weight is the only thing he gains.”
Fatty’s mouth tilted up in a smirk. I looked at him and said, “I’m Fat Thief.”
Fatty nodded. “Ok, write it.”
So, the three of started writing on the bulletins.
Of course, no one paid attention to what was written on them, so after we were done, nothing happened.
Most creations ended in this way.
<Chapter 18><Table of Contents><Chapter 20>
(1) Also called Senior Citizens’ Universities (SCU). They’re a kind of special university with an average student age of above 60 years. The curriculum is extensive but easy, offering foreign languages, computer skills, music, dance, photography, painting and other crafts, sports and cooking. Info here.
(2) Had to take some liberties here. Fatty really says “why do you guys have 2 characters and I only have 1?”. Wise Hero=Congming Xia (聪明侠), Silent Hero=Chenmo Xia (沉默侠), and Fat Hero=Pan Xia (胖侠). Fatty wanted to be called Loyal Hero=Yiqi Xia (义气侠)
(3) Siguo Cliff is a fictitious cliff from the 1967 wuxia novel “The Smiling, Proud Wanderer”. It’s the place where the “Five Mountain Sword Sects Alliance” annihilated the ten elders of the “Sun Moon Holy Cult”.
Apologies, wuxia terminology isn’t my forte (why do you think I’m working on DMBJ instead of one of the many wuxia novels out there? lol)
4 thoughts on “Chapter 19 Extra 1”
So funny the story of the 3 thieves 🤣 Thanks for the chapter! ❤️
I love the story! Thanks for the chapter!
What a funny story. Thank you.